Nusrah's

People been saying telling me I'm weird I thought they were never true Actually I don't even know what weird is I thought I'm normal enough Guess I thought wrong eh? What is common sense? What is straightforward? What is honesty? I learnt we should practice honesty But at the same time to not hurt others by words How come?  Honesty is literal, no? They say I should express But when I did, they say nay Apparently it's wrong for me to do what I want Or be whoever I want to be They tell I should do what I want I want me, but being me is not good enough Being me lack of skills needed Therefore me cannot be real They talk the sense out of me Trying to make me think straight  But no matter how hard I tried I can't  I'm never like them Am I weird? Am I retarded?  Am I crazy? Or I'm just me?  I don't know Time will tell they say But I never figure it out yet I think I guess So Signing off, Still searching for the me I'm supposed to be. 

though I tried I could never never did your dreams will be with me wherever I go coping with the monster living within so does her innocence wearing thin no one's got forever let fate be the storyteller I chose silence I know more instead little did I know I still hear your echo and we would wonder why not happier? and my innocence fooled me at its best I only see you and I'm me again

in grief times I decided to wander off for tranquility not that I need eternal peace still have that urge because I always  will always find for hope even if there's none you never know things can come knock you right in the face when you least prepare that's the call we thought we lost but there's someone who lost more we thought we won when there's someone better coincidence? yeah right am I worth hoping? or better yet is this worth everything? yeah mind blown too so I rather not

aku....aku tak pernah kuat walau dibedil walau dicerca tetap aku di sini mungkin percayamu tidak selemah batinku zahirnya tiada siapa pun yang mampu kaca terhempas tak boleh dicantum lagi begitulah rupa paras hati ini aku kejam aku lupa siapa yang sebenarnya perlu aku agungkan perlu aku buangkan hanya kerna nikmat dunia membutakan yang depan mata aku keji aku jijik hanya mencari bila dijentik itulah manusia bukan kau tak biasa hanya mencari bila perlu dibuang jauh bila habis seru Ampunkan segala dosa segala amarahku segala salah silap aku segala apa saja yang bisa membinasa maafkanlah aku memang keji bukan aku dah lupa kalau boleh ingin aku buang jauh sana Kalau diberi aku masa akan aku berlari ke masa itu untuk memberitahu aku yang dahulu jangan diikut kata hati itu kau tak makan garam lagi kau hanya rasa gula terperi belum sempat merasa tawar kelat dengarlah ludah yang tak dijilat Aku..aku tak kuat aku juga lemah seperti kamu bibir ini terkumat

Close your eyes It will hurt less Close your eyes for the things you do not wish to see Close your eyes for the words you do not wish to hear Close your eyes for the feel you do not wish to taste Close your eyes Do not let them break nor shattered I know it is your eyes that firstly show the signs Reflecting on things you do not wish to show out loud Close your eyes It will hurt less Put aside the monster you saw of me Let the good memories taint your beautiful soul I am just like a dream A dream so wonderful that sometimes your eyes get watery too Close your eyes There comes a time when I will be gone...long gone And I need you to remember the good we've had Like any dream, I will be gone too Count to fifteen Breathe a little When you opened your eyes Everything will be okay Because It will hurt less I woke up I see sun I hear birds For a second everything is okay, like you've said But I feel empty Void in my heart Hollow soul Then

not that I tried I did Still trying The time I weave my note It's good Still good Then my feelings collide Couldn't contain anymore And I bleed Profusely I couldn't clot things clearer You the only in my focus Nothing else Caught up in between Again I broke I ran to the corner And made myself into a box Only I can contain myself The vigorous urge to miss you Even when I'm not supposed to Lord please let you fade away The strength I have Neve did it breaks my heart even I can't bring you to life I can only pray you're well there I miss you.

at times of chaos i found my own bliss paradigm shift they say truth is i did not open up some space let the air lift you up shake off that dust polish till it shines through breath deeply i hear it in my soul remember how it is now the smell the vision the feeling one day you will want to it is the day you found yourself wondering where the hell have you been? what took you so long? why you never go to the other side? then you realized you already won and to top it off there is no prize at the end of the line just you being good enough.

No idea mate Just go with it Sink deeper than ever Find yourself again Go, listen for your own voice Too crowded I'm afraid it's just noise now Not a sound anymore You let yourself sink in too much honey The drive is not that good anymore No more have I know you You changed mate A lot Too many voices in the head I can't seem to find mine My vision gets blurry every time I try I got distracted Darn it When will I ever find you? She said, when the time comes Well, when is it then Only you will know when No one else.

again there comes a time in life I question myself What the hell have I been doing all this while? Why never occur to me my own purpose? Why I never ever though it through? Why? How? When? Will I? Strangely awkward messages can bring meanings It does not have to be emotional Facts crush our hearts the hardest The tsunami of emotions come in later It is always ridiculous to not do what you want And yet we tend to follow others for approval Just so you can sit with them Without actually reflecting on your own's desire Tearing apart maybe But not just torn yet Just barely breathing Confused at times too Which mask should I wear now exactly? ?

Langkah demi langkah Aku susur tanpa jemu Kerna mungkin berpatah Namun kau tak pernah jemu Biar aku meronta pergi Kau masih teguh berdiri Meski kadang aku terlanjur Takkan kau biar aku terkujur Nikmat dunia kadang mengaburi Lalu aku terkinja-kinja berlari Mana mungkin kau halang Walau aral tinggi bukan kepalang Tak makan cukup garam Tetap aku mahukan segala apa Sabar kau walau kadang tergeram Berharap aku tidak terus alpa Dalam diam aku tahu Dalam sunyi aku rindu Dalam amarah aku mengaku Tiada yang sebaik dirimu.

I am scared truly I am every year it gets tougher it gets harder complicating things even more for I have seen things so much that all the images became blurry I knew this would come it is just a matter of time struggling I am to keep in pace with reality. I am no hero nor superhuman got defeated too sometimes when lust drives me nuts the senses ain't conking me in the head and I got swayed to astray good thing I had my own call the gist of it is I become stronger in the end nothing else matters except on how do you see Him Let me get things straight here; 1) We are always afraid- it is only normal if we are afraid of something, may it be your own downfall or uprising, still you are afraid. 2) We tend to forget the good when things gone bad - even I do this sometimes. My mama told me the key to feel good is to see the things we ought to be grateful for. It works, really though I am still working on it. 3) We advise better than we should - it is not a r

She believes in dreams that high She wants more than what she could give Nothing compare to a generous world Again she is deceived The world is not like what it used to be It is corrupted, dirtier than before People wipe dirt with sandpaper They stab when they meant to kill Love is all it takes To make living worth her while Showering every moments to be cherished Too soon to know nothing stays forever Man has a thing for beauty Only by nature we are magnetized To just realise beauty fades Once we witness the downside Now Are you still beautiful? Oh you.

we knew nothing back then just dropping by to notice strong I was, yes for support, you came to me I was a wrecking ball you saw that coming so you made me bounce just so I know ups and downs of life we climb hand in hand not that smooth we head on trying to rediscover inner self when at times we lost too nothing to spare I admit more things at stake than own's interests we took some perilous risks to get where we are now.

knocking on every senses I've got still I choose to smile that broad though nothing seem possible trying to believe anything plausible some things I just learn to not care for they do not posses any leftover flair he said to never give up love it is the greatest gift from the Above mysteriously it made you exposed all make it easier to be I suppose it is the aftermath you should be afraid not many can think while being laid you decide to let it open boy were you wrong? or maybe you can let it be because life is learning trying to grasp the true meaning when everyone is at their loss I was sitting there, blankly I'm afraid because I once saw the past that haunts me forever.

How would it be If I took another step Will I still be here? He knows that for sure Contemplating is all I'm good at Never to do anything with this crappy habit of mine Disgrace! Expecting fulfilled interest Yet not a sweat or wee tear And here I am still sitting waiting to be sure of what is unsure.

Masih mencari? Mungkin. Masih kesunyian? Mungkin. Masih keliru? Mungkin. Masih berduka? Mungkin. Masih percaya? Mungkin. Masih berharap? Mungkin. Masih dambakan? Mungkin. Masih memberi? Mungkin. Masih tertipu? Tidak mungkin lagi. Terima kasih sang pencinta Ada dakwat juga di hujung tinta

dalam hidup sehari-hari kita lupa fakta hakiki walau gagah mana kita berdiri tetap semua berlaku atas Ilahi kadang tak indah mana adakala terasa merana ingat semua ini fana hanya akhirat menanti di sana dikarang bukan mau bermadah tiada sebarang wujud helah cuma ingin sampaikan pesanan kerna diri ini perlu peringatan

Wednesday morn Feeling the need to rectify Make a move to shake things off Elated to need the kickstart In a minute or two I was reminded of you. Wednesday noon Caught up in between lives So suffocating I need some space I walked out of my zone and there you are sitting, looking natural like the casualty. Wednesday evening I couldn't help but to smile happy to know my thoughts are real not just some make believe play story You and your Adidas sneakers not knowing you were watched afar. Wednesday night The heat has gotten unbearable been up for mere contemplating I remembered your skateboard then I search for you in the hope I'll see you again.

Dah 20 tahun hidup, baru aku sedar mekanisme hidup ni macam mana; Dah 20 tahun hidup, baru aku sedar hidup ini tidak akan pernah lama pun; Dah 20 tahun hidup, baru aku sedar benda akan sentiasa berubah; Dah 20 tahun aku hidup, baru aku sedar semua pun ada tarikh luput. 1) Hidup ini memang tidak senang, tapi tak susah juga, kalau kita cuba untuk hidup . Cubalah untuk hidup. Bukan untuk glamour, bukan untuk kekayaan, tapi untuk mencari keredhaan. It's okay. Life is always in motion, things are always changing in life, do not be afraid, because you'll never get anywhere if you're still afraid. Be brave, not for your friends, not for others but for yourself. At least make your parents proud because they have prayed so much to get you in this world. They are the reason why you can make it to the world. Not many can feel their presence you know. 2) Hidup ini kita akan jumpa macam macam orang, either we can learn from them or make mistakes with them. Selalu kita complai

here morning light caving in those breathless night second guessing to put up a fight thought nothing comes out bright there afternoon strike filling her soul with spike even if the red fades out still the past remains a blackout next in the evening already frail in between feeling oh she thought she's whining and so she wants to keep on winning then the night comes knocking the ache she conceals is petrifying all she hears is people screaming wanting more and more than she's giving she accompanies the owl consequently she is very sure feeling lonely many claimed love her dearly but they never are in her reach sadly dew drops smell so watery the pools in her eyes made her dreary to feel normal eating up all dairy none is done to wipe off the misery the cycle is almost complete though she knows she has to compete coping with the monster living within so does her innocence wearing thin.

having the stars as my roof thinking it is the most beautiful so much that I got tongue tied trying to breathe in things all at once then he asked me what makes me the happiest ? when I'm tall and proud for applause I glee he went and said if that is what you yearn for get up and reach for it no doubt I did there is a theory eyes do not lie I'm never a believer until I saw his.

I have secrets So much That sometimes They haunt me too In my dreams I get nightmares a lot The thought of exposing them is just unbearable And If you know one of them Or maybe some Bear in mind You're part of my dreams but also part of my nightmares.

for a second I thought it is an illusion and yet you're here making the moment so precious. it is your eyes telling me stories untold drawing me to hear them though I'm not much of a listener. it is your presence giving me the utmost comfort though you're not near but still I can smell you. it is your smile delighting me to a level whatnot everything's gonna be alright the one I can count on. it is your gestures ensuring me safety making sure I am hooked not to go astray. it is you bringing to myself again making me move further an eye opener. of caffeine and conflicts untold chasing paper and gold no one's got forever may fate be the storyteller.

Dear believers, please hear me out I thought I was in pain and agony And so I used numbness to wash it away When actually I'm just ignoring I thought the life I had was perfect And so I keep making them adore When actually I'm just hallucinating I thought I move around, I was static And so I used them skateboards When actually I'm just walking I thought I'm happy, having the perks And so I continue kissing my way up When actually I'm just impressing I thought I'm succeeding And so I just keep walking with no idea When actually I'm just being dumb I thought none of them care And so I just mind my business When actually I'm shutting them out I thought people hate me for who I am And so I lie and play pretend When actually I'm just plain sad Please, don't let me crawl back Please, don't let me be that devil again Please, don't let me go haywire In the name of Allah.

Fear One word Four alphabets Infinity lifetime Love One word Four alphabets Infinity questions Hope  One word Four alphabets Infinity necessity Why fear? Why love? Why hope? For these are obvious Yet hidden beneath Every circumstances occur Paid for lesson learnt.