Nusrah's

you claimed that I was a something you knew of very well you decided to tittle tattle  about how I roam my life without even imploring my consent hoping to find believers oh you can't you see I'm doing better now no you're blind in these treacherous waves so called life since you're the one to claim to bear the utmost hardship of all no mankind felt your struggle only to reason why you should make sense when relevancy is way off line are you eating though? I may not be the one to nod yes to every single word you utter unlike some I ain't like you I'm building and more to come like how Gambino said it don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you're doing you just don't

you know that sensation when suddenly everything sinks in and it gives you a whole lot of new perception? and this usually happens at night and I mean late night though you have lots to do your brain decided to replay the scenario just because you can duh! what is life? to be literal, it's the place you're stuck to live in and survive until you die to be spiritual, it's the phase you have to go thru before going to the eternity to be emotional, it's a chance to build yourself to a new level everyday to be physical, it's the time you improve and perfect what can be perfected to be intellectual, it's a process where learning is the thing you do daily to be real? no one can define it straight cause life is fucked up in so many ways and there's nothing you can do about it also life is a wonderful thing if only one knows to seize the moment. question is how to seize the moment? please do let me know cause I'm dying to know ...

maybe no one experience this I did I still do the feeling of knowing you're right when everybody thinks you're wrong even if it takes eons for others to realise the dirt we've discovered long time ago hi I'm just a regular girl with nothing to offer I tried to be as honest as polite as friendly as kind as all the things you want in a friend but sometimes I gotta save myself first okay not sometimes all the time but if you're that precious I will manage to save you too don't ask me how but I will at least that's how I was taught thank God for that always look in a situation with a grain of salt especially now with filters everywhere reasons to reason out more be smart but most importantly be fair to yourself

we tend to draw the line  sometimes too thin and sometimes too thick but in the end this line will get crossed because life is in no control and for some weird reason life seems to get the hold of us at the most vulnerable times where every single thing seems susceptible  we may not notice it cause life always gets in the way complicate and suffocate us even more with no lights or clue we remain ignorant and never learn the fact  of how powerful is help I never want to be a burden I never meant to do any harm  I only want to do it by myself I only deserve this cause I'm such a pain Well maybe you are Because you never seems to realize how lucky And how ungrateful you are in the mean time You keep it  Never to open, stowed in a secure place(read:heart) In my defense, not that secure Only for a while it is Stop this mockery Face reality Halt this ambiguity To only know serenity.

felt lethargic meh also it's 5.00 am-ish now I'm supposed to work on a project but I'm procrastinating as per usual but hey what's life without a little risk? or lots of them? listen I may not be relevant to you or anyone cause I'm a nobody if things didn't work the way you want them to don't fret, I'm sure there's some reasons I'm telling you, it is the best time to reflect on yourself, on other people, on your alter ego really I myself just realise I have an alter ego few years back and I have yet to name her go, fly, explore, take a little risk I know it's important to get 4.00 heck yeah, getting good grades = good life now, that is where you are wrong life is so much more than to be defined by grades find meaning in your life I repeat, find meaning in your life even in the littlest things, find meaning meaning is what makes life worth to watch trust me on this, your grades do not determine how good your life w...

nothing much ironically it's Monday hey Monday no, I'm not mad at you mostly at myself for not being to able to stomach the fact I'm no longer a child, carefree child so here's a wee bit of last weekend for me I'll spare you the deets who am I anyway? but I'll tell the gist of it. life is so beautiful why? not just because of you because of the fact it's never the same it's variety, colourful, uneven, but still, very serious I myself cannot process that thought. by far, life is treating me good got rid of diseases and when I say diseases, I meant toxic people healed myself with the right amount of medicine not a full recovery but suffice to go through the day the very least.

that remnant now she learns to remember it the air the ambience everything, just so peachy she could still remember the footsteps, the monotonous guidance to solidarity, how her hands trembled, shaking for she was so scared, but she did it anyways She had no idea what bravery nor courage was She just did it He held onto it, every bits of light he could grasp firmly, he stowed it within searching for the monumental moment to let it shine on, diamond such a little too much would harm the little girl that sunshine you see, she's naive and blunt yet there lies a beauty kid's innocence she believe she could, so she did it. life goes on she grew up but he grew cold nothing in between just reality and that's when she realised she's just dreaming no word, silence still deafening.

howdy been a long day nothing much just surviving barely just realise I wasn't thought everything though I knew mostly for some reason I lack even more but hey that is life sometimes you gotta make lemonade sometimes you just got the zest either way you're learning I learnt, hopefully some prove worthy some prove petty bottom line you're happy and that is all there is to know of even with the scars even with the bruises you made it through and that's how gibberish life can be it is nonsense but you're in it live anyway. *sigh

Telah terkubur segala mimpi Kerna takut akan dilanyak Lalu aku hentikan fantasi Mungkin kerna aku tidak layak Kadang ada mau terbang tinggi Aku bisik jangan nanti kau yang rabak Lupa aku akan gadis bercita tinggi Yang mampu lalu segala onak Dibakar dengan semangat jati Tidak kira aral mana banyak Yang penting manifestasi diri Kalau diberi gunung pun dia tak gentar Sekonyong angin monsun lalu Meniup segala apa yang ada Rapuh runtuh segala panji Kerna tiang sudah tidak berdiri lagi Ya Rabb, aku mau saja lari Jauh ingin ku lari, terbang kalau mampu Hatta realiti tak lagi indah seperti disangka Pejamkan mata aku ingin menjadi buta seketika Dan ingin dibuai mimpi kejayaan pasti Aku pentaskan hidup walaupun fana Nikmat sementara itu yang aku berpaut Sedih tapi aku buang jauh jauh Kerana realitinya aku lagi miskin Hingga suatu saat aku tersedar Mimpi tak ke mana kalau tak digoncang Lalu aku runtuh segala hiasan indah Ribut angin mengukuhkan rasa hati Mengorak untuk terus hidup lagi Ya Rabb, a...

I've done my best I've tried I really did Every time I see light Darkness proved me wrong Every time I see hope Fear told me off Every time I see white Black convinced I was worse I know you have loads on your plate Everywhere you go you tend to irate Basically I was like a play-mate Till reality came maybe it was fate It's unlike me to contemplate Maybe you find it's hard to relate Everything seems to be running late Until that day come, you will remember the date Oh Lord, I'm so good at disguise You can't tell behind these eyes Every consequences, every lies Wishing to be free from the whys If only there is a way No, an escape I say Because I dare not say nay To every piece of wish you lay No, I'm not okay But I'll resuscitate myself anyway I guess that's the kind I choose to be Eventually truth will set me free