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blindfolds

 I am a liar and it is the truth..... putting up a front like I have gotten them all when all I've got in return is emptiness there are so many things on the plate right now and somehow it is not enough to make me feel whole always searching for more and more and more when all is yearn for is completeness. we are all searching for something that is what we called as purpose most of the time it elevates you rarely left you hanging but little do you know there is a fine line in between your peak and your doom we are all searching for light to bring us out of the darkness when we see the light we go for it but when it blinded us, where did we go? did we fall back? instead, we wear blindfolds to convince our dear selves that we are okay  when all we did was lying to ourselves the deeper we go into the lies the harder for us to step back by the time we take off our blindfolds the damage is done and we settle for less all in the light is not necessarily true sometimes a step back is need
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tears in the AM

we often complicate things in life I reckon if we just tell people what exactly it is we would not be that confused we would stay present not worrying just living however when doubt comes caving in with droplets of fear we tend to succumb to the comfort of not knowing or worse ignorance. for hesitation comes dropping by there's nothing but a hollow space with the hope there is a glimmer of hope that everything would work out but we already know the outcome don't we? so why not take a leap of faith? why stop believing in dreams? why never knowing is a good thing? your conscious answered I am afraid it is easier not knowing than being lost it is easier to not be hurt than living with the pain then your subconscious said but what if it works out? what if your fear is nothing but an illusion? what if your dreams come true? what's it going to be then? only fate will tell huh? I believe everyone deserves to be happy, even those who have wro
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Hisashiburi

Hey been a long time eh? It's funny how I used to write in telling all my stories as if I want the world to know what I am up to when now I do not feel the need to pen everything here down. maybe because social media has their ways to entice me to join the cult and yes I am charged guilty. as I'm sitting at a cafe typing this I just realised that everything just flashes in front of my eyes in an instant it took me almost 25 years to come to this realisation insane huh? all it takes is just a heartbreak to open up to so many possibilities I guess that is true in my case that is not proud of it but I own it So here's few things I feel like telling 1. Everyone is unique, regardless age, ethnicity whatever categories there is, each and everyone of us is special in their own ways, which ultimately means no one is really special. Makes sense? Yea it does. No one is really different from you because the truth is everyone have their own struggles, I m
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wonder

I still wonder if you think of me Or know that you’re my favourite piece Of poetry or put your palms up To the sky and wish for the stars to  Keep me safe at night or Hope that sometimes I can feel Your arms holding me tight Or even just wonder if I am doing fine I still wonder if you talk about me Did you tell your mum that you decided  To leave? Did your friend hold you As you cried the night the unmentionable  Happened or was it so unmentionable  That you felt mortified To say my name after that?  I still wonder if you are okay, but sometimes I know you are not, even though you seem fine I can tell you are wearing a mask And how I wish to be there for you Though you probably refuse me You see, I still wonder about you  But Do you ever wonder about me? 
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adulting? yea

wow that long huh? everything happened so quick I can't even I guess this is life Funny thing you should ask am I still writing? yes, I still do however as life is taking over you're constantly on the pace no I stand corrected you're constantly trying to cope with the hold of things you tend to forget what you're used to be I can't remember the last time I composed keys on the piano I hope my ukelele is doing justice for me as impossible as it sounds I beg to differ (not!) the melody the harmony oozed out of me I slowly forgot what I used to do hopefully the grip is still there even barely just a tad bit so that this girl will not forget her roots even in fresh air she still sees the ground as the same so here I am writing a bunch of nonsensical thoughts though unrelatable you ought to know I'm doing fine great actually just missing the carefree girl that I once knew of wee bit hoping she is still there I hope I pray
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Prisoner

I never ask to be stuck in between. I just want to be free. All my life, in my heart, for 16 years, all I ever wanted was to be free. Free from this house, free from this feeling, caging me from the inside without anyone ever noticing. I. Want. Freedom. I tried being the best, in everything so they could be proud of me. They can say, hey, isn't she something? I studied hard. Tried being the best help. I got involved in so many things, just so they could be proud. When the D-day comes, I made it. Ya Allah, I finally made it. I got it. The victory sunk in a while. I was very proud no doubt. No doubt. Just when I thought I could be free, then the prison caged me in. Once again, I am trapped, and it's hard to get out this time for I see no escape. Even if I was the best. So I stopped trying. What is there to try for? I did try but what did I get? Nothing. Nothing at all. I am always chained. It's okay, you'll get the rewards later on. Who else is going to do it?
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whyyyy

you claimed that I was a something you knew of very well you decided to tittle tattle  about how I roam my life without even imploring my consent hoping to find believers oh you can't you see I'm doing better now no you're blind in these treacherous waves so called life since you're the one to claim to bear the utmost hardship of all no mankind felt your struggle only to reason why you should make sense when relevancy is way off line are you eating though? I may not be the one to nod yes to every single word you utter unlike some I ain't like you I'm building and more to come like how Gambino said it don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you're doing you just don't
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