Nusrah's

Independent? Serenity? Accountability? Isolation? Bizarre? Blimey, I'm at loss of words I'm not so sure anymore It's so peculiar finding yourself questioning all over again you own purpose Maybe I'm one year older now honestly I'm still as confused as I was I'm disappointed For I have not found what I'm searching for Looking for answers Sometimes I stumbled upon some things Things that move this cold heart Coincidentally taught me something else Even when I cannot fathom these thoughts mostly Again Maybe these pair of eyes got blinded Chasing after temporary beauty No matter, things fade eventually Or so I might think of it I swear, never have I ever felt this Shivering like the cold leaf Groping for every hold I can get I know of my capabilities This time I feel Vulnerable? Immortal? Attached? Feeble? Committed? Blimey, I'm at loss of words

that melody so familiar yet so far so soothing yet so depressing so harmonious yet so deafening hold it in, please everything seems so different now that I could sense things I could reason out almost even barely still I managed that melody so familiar yet so far so soothing yet so depressing so harmonious yet so deafening hold it in, please eventually I got it hard to perceive at first somehow with the guts I mustered I could breathe...again slowly and carefully I weaved my life that melody so familiar yet so far so soothing yet so depressing so harmonious yet so deafening hold it in, please you not here surprisingly not that hard even I am still taken aback I rose, higher even without you dragging me down it is possible that melody so familiar yet so far so soothing yet so depressing so harmonious yet so deafening hold it in, please life is random unnecessarily fulfilling sometimes got ...

this pair of eyes reflect you as you saw them never did you knew they see more of things if only you'd understand fragile like a glass it shines when polished cleaned regularly but like all china when the time comes, they break too. once broken considered sold there can never be glued back no matter how you try broken things remain broken even if you mend them endlessly these eyes, held water moist when they desire dry when they mourn somewhere in between too if only you do not know what it is just when things are falling back boy were you very wrong one point can be turned totally then you found yourself contemplating again your eyes were so dry oozing those sadness away nothing was left there but anger and hatred to nothing but yourself grief, it is supposed to be it is not that you want it that feeling became so addictive you've grown to it and succumbed to it if you could only see through my eyes and fathom every sparkle then may...

nervous? hell yeah I am days just passing by without you realising time's up it's time to go do what you're supposed to do let's go people! at least that's how I imagined it though my surroundings is just fine I guess the fire in my head just spread or I just overthink yeah maybe that now you might be wondering what's in her mind? what she intends to do now? what is her motive? what the hell is she thinking? many things going on and I don't know which to choose everything looks so good tempting risky at the same time of course there's always risk it's not school anymore no one is telling you what to do there is no homework given no teachers scolding you no curfews no punishment no chores just you and your life reality slaps you really hard when you dream too much you tend to fly if you're flying to somewhere safe it's good, at least you'll know where to land when you fly too high then you lose s...

People been saying telling me I'm weird I thought they were never true Actually I don't even know what weird is I thought I'm normal enough Guess I thought wrong eh? What is common sense? What is straightforward? What is honesty? I learnt we should practice honesty But at the same time to not hurt others by words How come?  Honesty is literal, no? They say I should express But when I did, they say nay Apparently it's wrong for me to do what I want Or be whoever I want to be They tell I should do what I want I want me, but being me is not good enough Being me lack of skills needed Therefore me cannot be real They talk the sense out of me Trying to make me think straight  But no matter how hard I tried I can't  I'm never like them Am I weird? Am I retarded?  Am I crazy? Or I'm just me?  I don't know Time will tell they say But I never figure it out yet I think I guess So Signing off, Still searching for the me I'm supposed to be. 

though I tried I could never never did your dreams will be with me wherever I go coping with the monster living within so does her innocence wearing thin no one's got forever let fate be the storyteller I chose silence I know more instead little did I know I still hear your echo and we would wonder why not happier? and my innocence fooled me at its best I only see you and I'm me again

in grief times I decided to wander off for tranquility not that I need eternal peace still have that urge because I always  will always find for hope even if there's none you never know things can come knock you right in the face when you least prepare that's the call we thought we lost but there's someone who lost more we thought we won when there's someone better coincidence? yeah right am I worth hoping? or better yet is this worth everything? yeah mind blown too so I rather not