that ghost

I cried
again
there's no utter reason
but I did anyways.

it's scary
to know the fact
that at the end of the day
you have to face it all alone
no turning back
just you and destiny.

that ghost
that I fear of
it's not lurking outside
it lies within
what's scarier is that I never do realise
until it consumes me.

I contemplate
for the things I've done wrong
because time is always enemy
unless I've got a time machine
nothing else changes
and things were permanent.

I despise this feeling
of not knowing
you see, I'm never good enough
probably because I should have
never did I fit in the context
because again, fear.

I am in my shell
making it indestructible
but I know I will be needing
some sort of space filled in
can't say how much
just sufficient to help me through.

Oh how selfish must I have been
to actually think of nothing
but me, myself and I
the world is not only me
life is everything around you
and I guess there's nothing I can do.



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